Mili's mirror

Patience and compassion

My question today is: How can one have patience and compassion in seemingly unfair circumstances?

I recently heard of an unprovoked attack on a school boy. Some of the people violating his boundaries were other boys who were meant to be friends. How can we look at this through eyes of compassion?

How about the bankers  and businessmen receiving huge bonuses when the rest of the world are struggling with increased prices and decreased income?

Or the noisy neighbours who, regardless of how many people have expressed their concerns, continue to live as if they were on an island by themselves?

How about the hardworking colleague losing their job, while the freshly graduated person who is off sick every Monday keeps to get theirs?

There are many similar stories, big and small. Some are questions of deeper ethics and morals (which, by the way, are always only somebody's opinion), while some are issues that might make a difference to our everyday lives.

The common denominator is that it is challenging to accept that these things happen when they are clearly 'wrong' (although again, it is worth remembering that the question of right and wrong, too, can be interpreted in more ways than one).

The answer -and my opinion- is that there are things we cannot understand. There are things we cannot accept, not right away. But we can focus on ourselves and our community, and take every opportunity to create something positive and enlightening and focus our energies on this.

We cannot change the whole world but we can change ourselves. Have patience with yourself. Be compassionate towards yourself and your family, whether they are related to you or not. Denying your frustration and rage does not make you more saintly or spiritual -and take that from someone who spent years believing it would!

If you choose to, you can use the bad news as a reminder to express your love to the planet and those around you.

 

 

 

Passing over

Early this morning I was walking in Helsinki - I am on holiday. I was going to visit a good friend of mine that I haven't seen for a long time, and was feeling great about it. It was a pretty long walk, and while I love being outdoors something made me jump on the underground half way through.

I first heard the cries while on the escalator going down towards the platforms. A heartbreaking, desperate, devastating cry of pain. 'Papa, papa', the voice called. As I got off the escalator I saw what was happening.

A man's body lay on the platform, surrounded by emergency crew who were desperately trying to resuscitate him. CPR was administered by a man, while a woman was giving him a kiss after kiss of life. His grown daughter was being restrained by security guards and continued to cry after her father while struggling to run to him. 

This heart-wrenching scene continued for a few minutes. It felt like the time stood still. I felt tears on my face, my own tears. I wanted to go to her, hold her and be there, but felt powerless. There was nothing I could do. 

While I have seen dead bodies before and work as a medium, I have never seen a person pass before. I started thinking about my own beliefs around the cycles of life and the way we learn most of our important lessons through pain related to other people. Loss of any kind, especially when so unexpected and sudden, is our biggest teacher. 

The emergency crew stopped their efforts. I felt a surge of energy around me as the man passed on. I realised there was something I could do. I said a prayer, then another. I sent all my love to the crying woman and silently blessed the soul of the man. Although I don't usually work with angels that much, I called for them to take the man home. 

The train arrived and I got on. I phoned a friend as I wanted to hear a friendly voice. Thankfully the mobile phones work on the Finnish underground trains! I then went to visit my friend who gave me a big hug. I felt enormously grateful for her presence, and even more thankful for being alive, and for being here. 

I am still thinking about what this experience is teaching me. Perhaps it is just symbolic about endings and beginnings, and certainly a reminder of how every day -even the ones that are seemingly boring or difficult- are days when we are alive. They should not be taken for granted. 

It has also made me think how incredibly lucky I am to have so much love in my life. 

Searching for meaning

In the recent weeks I have been witnessing a situation where people are trying to find meaning -or any kind of explanation for that matter- of circumstances that are seemingly unfair. Faced with harsh realities and inevitable change most of us react emotionally in one way or another.

For some, the initial reaction is denial. No, this is not happening. This cannot be happening. Not to me. Not now. Not ever. Everything was so perfect before it possibly cannot change now. If I simply don't think about it, it will go away.

Others may get angry and look for someone to blame. Rather than focussing on what is here and now, and working with the elements, tools and infomation that is currently available, they look back in hope that history will change itself. I want to find out who did this. If so-and-so hadn't done that, this wouldn't be happening. They don't understand us. They're out to get me. I want justice!

Fear and sadness are prevalent too. Worry about what is going to be left when familiar elements are stripped away is enough to paralyse us and make us feel completely powerless. I can't control this. It's all beyond my control. I don't know what to do. I can't handle this.

Some of us push away any emotional reaction and spring into action. Rather than allowing ourselves to feel how the change is affecting us, we start thinking about practicalities. I must take control of this. Right, this is what I must do now and I cannot rest until it's accomplished.
This is often perceived as strength, but denying our feelings can actually mean they will surface amplified much later. 

In any case, coming back into our bodies grounds us and makes us feel safer and more supported. Slow, deep breathing and taking a few moments to really feel your weight on the chair and feet on the ground can help to put things in perspective.

The sense of powerlessness is frustrating and can be challenging to beat. But we can always choose to be powerful in ourselves. We can choose to give our power away to circumstances or injustice. Or we can choose to keep it within, and make it our intention that we are able to deal with whatever happens in the world.

What's your story?

We all live in a story of our own. What we perceive to be our story may look completely different from the outside.

Let me talk about a common theme that's going on in lots of people's stories today.

At the moment many people are going through a period of uncertainty. We only need to read the news to get bombarded and overwhelmed by negative and fearful messages about how there is not enough good to go around. We are being manipulated into fearing for our survival, and the current financial crisis makes our most primitive instincts respond.

Our ancestors fought for survival every day. For them it was a matter of life and death.
For us it's a matter of what we believe we need in order to survive. What do you believe you need?

We have been lead to believe that we cannot survive if our personal finances deteriorate. For some it's a question about lifestyle, for others it's about feeding their families. Our needs may be different, but the emotional response is the same.

Coming back to your story.
Imagine that your life is a notepad, and you are writing your story on it. Sometimes it's just scribbles and doodles, and sometimes you feel like ripping a page off to pretend if it never existed. Sometimes you browse back a few pages and cringe out of embarrassment, and at other times it makes you giggle.

Whatever it is, it's your creation. You wrote it.You are the author.
When things go really well in our lives. Say, we are in love, happy, healthy and surrounded by goodness. At those times we don't give our power away to the war, hunger and desperation that is surrounding us. We may pay attention to it and act accordingly, but it doesn't start dominating our lives. You are writing your life story instead of giving the pen away to someone else.

But when things get a bit shaky and scary we immediately hand the pen over to whatever it is that is making us feel scared. Terrorists, financial crisis, bird flu. We become passive and watch the story being written for us by media, our neighbours, workplace and whoever that is willing to chip in.

Now it's the time to focus on what's good in our lives and surround ourselves by people and environments that are supportive, loving and encouraging. It's a well known fact (well, at least for me!) that what we focus on has the tendency to grow. Let the financial crisis look after itself. Try not to buy into the drama. I know it's hard if we or someone close to us has been affected, but even then we can choose to focus on the potential rather than the tragedy that has already happened or is happening.

If a child falls over or is afraid of the dark, what do we do? We hug them, reassure and look after them. As adults we need to do this for ourselves. Give yourself some reassuring thoughts and look after yourself. After all, I definitely want my story to have a happy ending, no matter what happens in between! How about you?

PS. A nice quote from Abraham-Hicks:

'You can be fully satisfied with where you are, understanding that you're eternally evolving. When you get into that place of feeling appreciation of where you are and of who you are, and appreciation of what you are, and you accept that you are a never-ending, always unfolding Being, then you can stand in that delicate balance of being optimistic about what is to come, without being unhappy about where you stand. Find a way of eagerly anticipating future changes, while at the same time you are in love and satisfied with who, what, where and how you be.'

Blessed Imbolc

February 1st marks Imbolc or 'the quickening'. You can read about Imbolc here

In the traditional Celtic calendar Imbolc marks the beginning of the farming season. This is the time when food supplies used to run low, and offerings were made to the Goddess to ask for Her blessings to help feed people until the next harvest.

This is also the time for psychic visions and accelerated manifestation.

Bright Yule Blessings

Today marks Winter Solstice (Yule), the shortest day and the longest night of the year. It is the time when pagans and wiccans believe the Goddess gives birth to the Sun God - symbolically speaking this means new hope and light.

It is now time to set new goals and start living our dreams, leaving past regrets behind. It is the time to start welcoming light back into our lives.

Our journey

How many times in your life have you started something just to give it up a week, month or maybe even days later? A new method that promised you to heal you life and make it better? There are many fantastic methods and techniques out there, and many of them are very powerful and can really be life transforming.

But there is one thing most of them fail to teach you. In fact, on my opinion this is one of the most important things. Actually as I'm writing this I'm getting that there are more than one.

Although I may not agree with all of them, I honour most spiritual and self-help teachers greatly. Devoting yourself to the wellbeing of humankind is not an easy route. Many of those teachers – some ancient, some a bit more recent – have been of great help to me. And yes, it's still not eternal sunshine and light. As the balance of our Universe states, we need opposites – yin and yang, male and female, hot and cold, day and night. So the dark nights of the soul still appear as my world turns around, and the further I go the darker they get. The beauty lies in the light that appears afterwards, as every time the light gets brighter and I am filled with immense gratitude.

When I was taking the first steps on my spiritual path (not a big fan of the term though!) in this lifetime and really started working on my ego wounds and patterns, karmic or otherwise, I realised that nobody had actually told me about how difficult it sometimes is, and how our faith gets tested time and again. Nobody told me that sometimes things get worse before they get better. Spiritually speaking there is plenty of talk about letting go and getting our ego out of the way, but very few tools for actually mastering this or talk about what this actually means in practical terms.

Firstly, it is really great that we all have those moments of oneness and joy. The moments when we feel totally connected to the Universe, Spirit, world and other human beings (and beyond), and we can see reality for what it really is. All our worries and concerns disappear and we actually see them from a different perspective that makes us realise that problems only ever have the value we give them.

But what happens after these moments? Many great teachers talk about keeping our awareness there and letting go of negativity. It is brilliant when it works, but I would like to find out how many people give up as the promise of instant results doesn't quite fulfil itself?

To be complete honest, there is no instant solution to spiritual growth. There are some people, like the wonderful Eckhart Tolle, whose awareness suddenly expands, allowing them to live in a constant state of connectivity and enlightenment. The truth is that most of us would not be ready for such a drastic transformation as our energy field, mind and state of awareness would not be able to facilitate the new knowingness.

Most of us will work through the obstacles and insecurities, sometimes by using sheer willpower rather than holding on to their faith. 
Self-realisation and growth walk hand in hand and it is important to learn the lesson of surrendering and letting go. Yes, many authors and teachers talk about this and tell us to 'let go', as if it was as easy as counting to three. Not quite. It can take unwavering commitment and practice to learn to surrender and let go, and as of us most of us will forever retain the ego's insecurity triggers within.

It is just about how we manage and accept what is given and what it truly means to live in great grace, harmony and spirited understanding. 

Another important thing to say right here is that the work never ends. As soon as we've peeled off one layer, another will appear and needs our attention. This may seem like a frustrating and endless task, but if we look at it in the perspective of lifetime after lifetime it really is worth our efforts to prepare ourselves for return to Home, as many say.

However, the most important thing is what you do you decide to do right now. If we live in a constant state of thinking about karmic cycles and universal laws, we actually forget to Live our lives.

I'm currently reading a brilliant book on practical, modern spirituality - it's called the F**k it way. It's a bit rude but if you're one of those people who aren't easily offended this book will make you laugh at yourself and also learn a great deal about letting go, particularly if you're struggling with the concept.

Difficult decisions

We are fickle minded beings - well, most of us are. In today's world we have so many options, choices, possibilities ranging from chocolate bars to toilet roll, and from careers to relationships. Sometimes I wonder if life used to be easier when we knew exactly what we were expected to do - the path was clear ahead of us and it didn't matter much whether we liked it or not, because it was what it was.

Today life is all about choices and we are terrified of choosing wrongly. I have talked about this before, but there are few things more scary than making a (perceived) mistake.

But there are different sorts of decisions too, more serious. Moral and ethical ones. Questions about our role in lives of others and vice versa. Choices that affect others around us.

I often think that these situations, especially those that feel like ultimate challenges, are here to teach us something. Maybe it's a question of integrity and honesty, or it brings up issues from the past that we'd rather have left buried. In either case there is a lesson or two to be learned.

Facing difficult decisions bring us into a new space of strength, courage and power. They bring us blessings to help us see how much we've grown and changed, and how wisely we now choose, without rushing into it, applying our intuition and voice of our hearts combined with balanced and calm logic. A perfect harmony.

But what happens when we are unable to decide, when the 'right thing' to do goes against our intuition and heart? How do we choose when to do something might mean a secret will be revealed or our lives may become temporarily uncomfortable, but it's all for the higher good?

Many people talk about integrity and honesty, but I wonder how many of us are willing to go there if it means exposure or material loss, for example.

These situations will show us what we are made of.

Becoming spirited

A while ago I was privileged enough to witness the awakening of psychic gifts in someone close to my heart.

This person, let's call her Anna (not her real name), is very sensitive and clearly a gifted psychic and healer. Due to challenging life experiences, trauma and always feeling 'less than', she was unable to believe that her sixth sense is very developed indeed!

So, we all tuned in. It was Anna's turn to start working, and the circle leader asked her to tell her what she was experiencing. Tears were rolling down Anna's face, as she described how awful, vulnerable and hurt she felt, and how exposed. She was feeling visibly uncomfortable and panicky, and frightened beyond measure.

But were they her feelings?

The group supported Anna to start speaking, and she soon identified a little girl, described the way she looked, her name and even the way she passed. This was the first time Anna ever did a reading, mind you. The circle sat in silence, providing silent encouragement and energy to help her through the fear of speaking.

After she had finished, even the circle leader looked stunned. Every detail, including the name of the girl, was an accurate reflection of someone from the circle leader's past, who passed around 40 years ago. This was someone she had forgotten, but this spirited encounter brought up some old memories that needed releasing and forgiving.

Anna sat there, still unable to believe her ability to tune in and deliver messages from Spirit. Were the difficult feelings hers? Maybe, but I would also assume she connected to the little girl's fear and distress and experienced this as her own.

What a beautiful learning experience. The world had just gained another light worker, another sincere and heart-centered healer who is as in awe with Spirit as anyone else. This, on my opinion, is the key to genuine work that is free from ego. It would be arrogant to think this work is ours, that it is me, you or the clairvoyant next door who is 'doing' it. We are merely channels. It's like we are the radio units but the transmission comes from somewhere else.

I still question myself every day. Before every sitting or group work session there is a slight fear of 'them' not coming through, or me not being able to connect. It's not that I don't trust Spirit or the Universe - sometimes I just don't trust myself. And I think this is exactly what Anna has been experiencing too!

Humility can be a virtue or a form of reverse egoism, as I like to call it. As a virtue it is helpful and reminds us to connect to ourselves, and to be thankful for the ability to help and serve others.
As a form of egoism it ensures we remain in the victim position, always looking outside of ourselves for validation and support. The line between these two is very fine.

As for Anna, I believe her humility is the virtuous kind and I can't wait to see her work in future. It will be amazing, mostly to herself.

 

 

 

 

Prayer for Samhain

A year of beauty. A year of plenty.
A year of planting. A year of harvest.
A year of forests. A year of healing.
A year of vision. A year of passion.
A year of rebirth.

This year may we renew the earth.
This year may we renew the earth.

Let it begin with each step we take.
And let it begin with each change we make.
And let it begin with each chain we break.
And let it begin every time we awake.

- Starhawk

Blessed Be!